Why are you homeless?

Good question. Here's my answer.

I grew up in a farming community in central Minnesota. I later spent 20 years living in the Washington D.C. and northern Virginia area then another 15 or so in a north Chicago suburb. In the fall of 2002 I arrived in Fort Worth, Texas, as a homeless person and I’ve been homeless off and on (but mostly on) ever since.

Currently, I live in a camp in the south Fort Worth area.

Why am I homeless?

There is no simple reason as to why I remain homeless. I’ve been asked that question often over the years. In the past, my addictions kept me homeless. In another season, it was my pride that kept me homeless. Now it is a different set of circumstances.

I want to think of the big picture when I answer. I want to say that God is keeping me homeless for a reason. Maybe He is not done teaching me something or He has something that I must do for Him.

But honestly I cannot say.

Some people might say that invoking God is a cop out or a lame excuse. I don’t feel that way. But there are other details in at play.

I have signed up for subsidized public housing but the problem is it takes a very long time before you are accepted. I know some people who’ve been on the waiting list for years.

Then, if I am to pay my own way—which is what I want—I must find work. That sounds easier than it really is. I do look for work. I am listed and get postings from several job search sites on the internet as well as from the Texas Workforce Commission. I am also listed with several temporary agencies. Often I run into problems.

For example, there is my lack of a recent job history and my criminal record. There is also the issue of my age, which is significant. I was told by a friend at church—who works within a human resources department—that age remains a problem even though firms cannot legally discriminate against someone because of how old they are. I know there are many more people applying for the same job as me but they are often less qualified and much younger.

What I am physically capable of doing? While I am healthy, I don’t have the body of a 20-year-old. And getting around is an issue. Public transportation is my only option and buses don’t go everywhere. I am a hard worker but my skillset is limited. That narrows down my options quite a lot.

Another problem with being homeless is that you spend most of your time just trying to survive. I go to at least one food bank each week, which takes at least an entire day. I also collect aluminum cans along highways for extra cash and that takes at least another day, sometimes even two.

I make trips to the store on foot because I don’t want to waste money on a bus fare. I need to go to stores for things that I don’t get from food banks: fuel for my stove and other necessities.

A camp is my home so I spend a couple of days taking care of it. I have to clean up and do things like laundry, maintenance and repairs.

Every time the season changes, I have to gather material to convert my tent to fit the weather. I need to make it warmer for the winter months. Then I need to retool it to be bug-proof and airy. Then back again.

Here’s something else that everyone knows but fails to really grasp when it comes to time. I walk everywhere. The places I go are not five minutes away by car but one hour on foot—everything is at least 45 minutes away from my camp by foot. And then 45 minutes back.

So there you have it. Being homeless—at least my type of homelessness—is a full time deal and I also volunteer for work two days a week in order to stay busy and to network with other people.

So why is it that I remain homeless? I cannot say. I like the Christian answer but truthfully all of the above reasons are part of the equation. There are probably several other reasons I could list but they don’t spring to mind.

But before I end, let me say this to those who think my homelessness is because I sit around and do nothing. You are mistaken. Frankly, I am exhausted from the unending activity. 

Yes, there are many homeless people who do just sit around but I am not one of them. I am actively trying to improve my situation. I can forgive someone who believes otherwise or thinks I could do more, but without experiencing it you can’t really understand what it takes to pull yourself up after sinking so low.

I don’t like being homeless. I am no longer too proud or too ashamed to talk about it. I am actively trying to change things. It does take time though. I’ve travelled a long way to get to where I am now and I still have a long way to go. 

Please leave a comment if you any ideas that may help me. I hope this post helps you understand my personal reasons for being homeless. This is my the best answer to the question, “why are you still homeless?”

As for other homeless people, you’ll have to ask them.