Written during a Speak Up writing community workshop.
What are three words that describe who you are? Expand.
Motivator -
I naturally see in others what I would like them to see in themselves. Because it’s sometimes hard for me to see myself what others may see in me. And I want to pass that on to others.
Giver -
I find myself love making and giving things to people, especially when it comes to homemade things. I love crocheting and knitting—and I just finished up a knitted prayer shawl that I couldn't wait to give to the Hospice and Community Care’s Hospice House. Almost every time I try my hand at something new—homemade nut butter, homemade granola...and it turns out good—I’ll reach out to my friends who I know are willing to be test subjects to see if they would want some. And sometimes, being a giver is just giving away my knowledge, my encouragement, or my motivation to help others out.
Passionate -
I am passionate about what I care about and who I care about—and I am admitting that I am a work in progress with sometimes needing to scale back the extreme passion that I sometimes exhibit. But through this season in my life, I have no regrets for being the passionate spirit that I am.
What is one small act of kindness you’ve witnessed or performed that had a surprisingly large impact?
One small act of kindness is that I was sitting with my friend’s mother-in-law who was recently diagnosed with early stages of dementia when my friend asked me if I’m available to do it. I believe this has played a huge impact on her. Being trusted to do so has played a huge impact on me. I feel that with both of us experiencing neurological issues (her with the diagnosis of dementia and me with the diagnosis of epilepsy), I’m able to understand her during what her family calls her “moments.” Especially when her family states it seems that “she doesn’t understand what’s going on” and “why people are treating her like a child.”
In the conversations I’ve had with her, I understand the confusion she has when it seems that she recognizes that something “is off,” but she can’t put her finger on what it is. Or when she mentioned that she just feels stuck in the house and not able to get out like she used, that all she’s wanting to do is live her life. And also when it seems that she’s wanting to tell her life story to someone who will listen, even if the person may have heard it before. The large impact I believe is being present to help keep her focused on the here and now, to acknowledge the qualities of life, and to acknowledge the memories created throughout life.
What’s one thing you will never do again?
One thing I will never do again is allow people define who I am, to define my character, or to make me question who I am. One of the things we as humans and people seeks is for people to understand us, to seek affirmation. With the difficulties in my mental and emotional struggles related to the need to affirmation, one of the things I have been working on this season is to not lay that burden on people, but to only turn to God for that.