Panhandling
It started out for me as a way to eat, then became a crutch to pay for my drug addiction, and eventually ended up being a way to keep a few cans of food on top of the motel fridge. I don't condone it.
Panhandling is not a pretty sight. It’s definitely not something I thought I would be doing myself at any point in my life. I remember being a kid and riding in my grandparents’ car while looking out the window and seeing panhandlers on the sides of roads once in a while.
I’ve spent most of my adult life working or living comfortably in one way or another, so I’ve never been in a position to have to call the streets home or ask a total stranger for anything, especially money. As true as those statements are, I’ve now been on the streets for well over a year, and I’ve panhandled half of those days.
Being out on the street and in desperate need of any funds I can obtain, I definitely understand a lot more about why people end up doing it. For most, it’s a last resort, but I’ve noticed some try to make a career of it. I never panhandle unless I can’t think of another way to get what I truly need. I’ve stolen from stores to avoid starving before, and I don’t like the way it makes me feel inside. I’d rather ask for help.
I started panhandling by accident, kind of. I had been out on the street less than a week, and I was at a McDonald’s and didn’t have food or money, so after mentioning that to someone, I was given a couple of bucks. So I sat down beside the entrance door, and if someone walking by looked kind, I would ask for a buck or even just change. Before I knew it, I had ten bucks, and I was able to eat. Ever since then, if I find myself in a situation where I was in need of food, I just go out and ask strangers. It just always seems to work. I’ve never had the police called on me for panhandling, but I have had the managers of various stores ask me to move along. That’s about as bad as it got. No real trouble ever came of it.
Some days I can do it with no problem at all, and some days I find I just don’t have the nerve to ask.
There are certain select spots I panhandle. I won’t name any of the businesses. I’ve seen people get arrested for it, but that’s because they were holding signs in the same locations they were asked not to go to again. There’s even a guy out here who has been to jail a dozen times for it. Some people do it to keep up their drug habits. I used to do that. Now that I’m clean and drug-free I do it mostly to eat and keep food in the motel room I share with my girlfriend.
You have to be good at reading people. You gotta know how to pick the right person to ask. I met
of Speak Up by panhandling—so sometimes you get so much more than what you’re looking for.You truly never know what someone’s going to give you if you ask for help. I’ve been given change before, and I’ve been handed a hundred dollars before. Several times. Honestly, I’ve grown to find it kind of exciting at this point in a way. Just interacting with different people, seeing their reactions, and never knowing where it could take you or what it could net you. It is kind of a thrill.
I don’t recommend it. I don’t condone it. Personally, I believe if you have two working arms and legs, you should work for your own dollar. It started out for me as a way to eat, then became a crutch to pay for my drug addiction, and eventually ended up being a way to keep a few cans of food on top of the motel fridge. These days I’ve found a string of odd jobs—like helping people move—so I rarely resort to panhandling.
Whatever your reasoning is for doing it, I suggest you always watch for cops and only ask people when they’re leaving a store, never going inside, because sometimes they will tell on you. But most importantly, try to work for your dollar rather than ask for it. If it’s something you have to do, then so be it, but don’t be greedy or take advantage of it. Everyone’s entitled to help in life, but don’t make it a career. Get through, get by, but eventually get to work and earn it.
Michael — thank you for sharing this piece. I'm humbled by your honesty and inspired by your commitment to keep reaching higher.
Basically everything you just mentioned is perfect. All of those things. Hand warmers in the winter are literally what sometimes got me from one street to the next.